From Retro to No-No: 19 Boomer Fashion Trends That Need to Retire
Fashion might be cyclical, but some trends deserve to stay exactly where they were last seen—buried in a dusty attic next to your old VHS tapes.
While boomers gave us some unforgettable fashion moments (and unforgettable hair decisions), not every throwback needs a comeback.
It’s time to lovingly—yet firmly—show a few of these relics the exit.
Ready for a playful roast of fashion’s past?
1. Fanny Packs
Once the MVP of theme park moms and mall walkers everywhere, the fanny pack had its moment—loud, proud and strapped firmly across every boomer’s waist.
Sure, it held your gum, film camera, and emergency tissues like a champ.
But today? It’s more “lost tourist” than trendsetter.
Modern crossbody bags and sling packs offer the same hands-free convenience—without the awkward belt-like bulge.
Unless you’re moonlighting as a retro aerobics instructor, it’s time to move on.
2. Shoulder Pads
Ah, the era when everyone wanted to look like an NFL linebacker in a power suit.
Shoulder pads marched into boardrooms like they owned the place—until they didn’t.
These days, we’re no longer battling with foam armor to prove a point.
You can still command attention without resembling a coat hanger in a tuxedo.
Tailoring is your friend.
Leave the shoulder inflation to 80s sitcom reruns, where it belongs.
3. Jorts
Jean shorts—aka jorts—are the denim equivalent of dad jokes: endearing, but rarely stylish.
These thigh-high denim disasters were a BBQ staple, often paired with a tucked-in polo and white sneakers that had never seen dirt.
Nowadays, we have shorts that don’t make your legs look like two breadsticks stuffed in denim tubes.
A well-cut pair of modern shorts will take you further than any frayed hem ever could.
Save the jorts for ironic Halloween costumes.
4. Mullets
Business in the front, party in the back?
More like a confused staff meeting followed by an unplanned rave.
The mullet was once a proud symbol of rebellion, now mostly reserved for viral TikTok challenges.
Unless you’re playing bass in a ‘70s tribute band or competing in a lookalike contest for Billy Ray Cyrus, it’s time to let go.
Your hair deserves better. So does the back of your head.
5. Neon Colors
Neon had its day—in roller rinks, aerobics classes and Lisa Frank notebooks.
But wearing enough glow to rival a traffic cone doesn’t exactly scream style anymore.
If you still own a lime green blazer, blink twice and back away slowly.
Earth tones and muted shades aren’t boring—they’re just not blinding.
Let your personality shine, not your shirt.
6. Tracksuits
Matching velour tracksuits had a moment where comfort met coordination… and then kept going straight into 2003.
They were worn everywhere from the grocery store to awkward family reunions—and occasionally by someone sipping a protein shake with sunglasses indoors.
Swap the elastic waist and rhinestone logo for sleek joggers and a tailored hoodie.
7. Animal Prints
There was a time when walking into a room dressed in leopard print meant instant attention.
Unfortunately, it now screams, “Did someone lose their living room rug?”
You can still show your wild side without dressing like you escaped from a jungle-themed casino.
Try subtle hints—like a printed scarf or tasteful shoes—so you’re not mistaken for the entertainment at a safari dinner theater.
8. Overalls
Practical? Yes. Flattering?
Only if you’re three years old or painting a fence.
Overalls had their place—mainly in gardening or when you needed 12 pockets for mysterious reasons.
These days, jumpsuits and utility rompers exist, and they don’t make you look like you’ve been moonlighting as a train conductor.
Dress smart. Leave the buckles and bibs to toddlers and farmers.
9. Bell-Bottoms
Bell-bottoms had their moment, flaring dramatically on every dance floor and street corner.
But let’s face it—walking in them now feels like navigating a denim wind tunnel.
They swish, they drag, they pick up every leaf on the sidewalk.
Go for sleek bootcuts or timeless straight-leg jeans.
Your ankles don’t need their own personal drapes.
10. Hawaiian Shirts
Bright, floral, and loud enough to alert traffic, Hawaiian shirts were the vacation uniform of dads everywhere.
You could almost hear a steel drum playing every time one appeared.
Today’s take? Tone down the tiki.
Go for relaxed shirts with soft patterns that whisper “tropical breeze” instead of shouting “I own three parrots.”
11. Tie-Dye
Tie-dye once symbolized freedom, expression—and laundry accidents.
Swirls of color drenched every T-shirt in sight, making everyone look like they fell into a crayon factory.
The modern version favors gentle washes and controlled patterns.
Think art class graduate, not summer camp counselor who forgot the color wheel.
12. Paisley Prints
Paisley was the textile version of jazz: complex, dramatic and sometimes too much after five minutes.
While intricate, the print often overpowered more than it impressed.
Try adding it as a pop in a scarf or necktie rather than draping yourself in it like an old couch.
A little paisley goes a long way—especially when you’re not trying to resemble vintage wallpaper.
13. Pleated Pants
Pleats were once the answer to comfort and formality in one.
Unfortunately, they often ended up looking like origami gone rogue.
Modern trousers are all about clean lines.
There’s no need to wear pants that double as accordion substitutes.
Skip the excess fabric and opt for cuts that know when to quit.
14. Bolo Ties
Somewhere between cowboy and confused professor, bolo ties strutted into boomer closets like they had a point to prove.
Spoiler: they didn’t.
Unless you’re headed to a country music awards show, skip the braided rope and decorative clasp.
Let your neck breathe and your outfits speak without the lasso.
15. Windbreakers
Windbreakers in vibrant shades once shielded boomers from mild breezes and fashion sense.
They rustled. They squeaked.
They practically announced your arrival from a mile away.
Update your outerwear with sleek, quiet fabrics that don’t sound like you’re unwrapping candy every time you move.
Function doesn’t have to sound like a percussion instrument.
16. Bucket Hats
Bucket hats had their run—on fishermen, toddlers and confused tourists.
While they blocked the sun, they also blocked good taste.
Structured hats are your new best friend.
They offer shade without making you look like you’re auditioning for a music festival you’re too tired to attend.
17. Clogs
Clogs were the footwear equivalent of a shrug.
They got the job done, sure—but did they spark joy?
Not unless you love the sound of wooden footsteps echoing down a hallway.
Slip into stylish loafers or clean sneakers that don’t clunk with every step.
Your feet can be happy without the Dutch farmhouse aesthetic.
18. Sweater Vests
Sweater vests once ruled the dinner party circuit—perfect for looking semi-formal while hiding the fact that you forgot to iron your shirt.
Today, layering is more about fluidity than formality.
Cardigans or light jackets provide the same warmth, minus the Mr. Rogers vibes.
It’s a style glow-up worth embracing.
19. Patchwork Denim
Patchwork jeans were fashion’s answer to running out of fabric. Bold? Maybe. Confusing? Definitely.
They looked like a scrapbook and felt like a jigsaw puzzle.
Swap them out for clean, modern denim that doesn’t need a legend to decode.
Let your jeans make a point—without looking like they came from a quilt sale.